


Better to Remain Oblivious

by livingwithmermaids



Series: Hinting At Something Different [185]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s04e15 Death Takes a Holiday, Hurt Dean, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mentions of Dean in Hell, Oblivious Sam?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 19:08:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4636854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingwithmermaids/pseuds/livingwithmermaids
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On special occasions when he was good, Alastair would light candles instead of keeping him in the usual darkness when he came to visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better to Remain Oblivious

**Author's Note:**

> Season 4 episode 15 Death Takes a Holiday
> 
> I wrote a rant to put in the beginning notes but I moved it to the end notes because it was really fucking long.

There were a lot of things Dean hadn't told Sam about Alastair.

However evil Sam thought Alastair was, he was ten times worse, and Dean couldn't get his voice out of his head, or his smile, or the way his hands used to rub down his arms, his legs. He was surprised Sam hadn't even gotten close to what else Dean might be hiding about what happened to him in the Pit.

Hell is a horrible, sick place. Death was heavy in the air, and there were rotting souls everywhere; broken and bloody corpses lingering in dark corners, sometimes pleading with Dean to help them escape, some becoming violent when he would tell them that he was in the same boat. Alastair made sure that they never hurt him. He didn't want his toy to have cuts and bruises that he didn't cause on the skin he loved so much.

The cell he was kept in was like a box. It was so dark that sometimes Dean wasn't even sure there was door. But on special occasions when he was good, Alastair would light candles instead of keeping him in the usual darkness when he came to visit. He would let Dean lay on his stomach instead of making him get on his hand and knees. After thirty years, he earned the privilege getting to put on underwear after Alastair left him, dirty and miserable on his stomach, or his knees, or his side. He knew he only got the boxers because he agreed to torture souls. 

He could remember the way Alastair would look at him after he raped him, like he was some cheap whore who deserved to be hurt over and over and over again. Dean started to think he might be right when Alastair stared at him with that look when he stood across from him. It made him want to break down and cry.

Sam didn't seemed to want to think about all the ways Hell could get into your system. And Dean didn't intend to tell him.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know where this came from. I think I came from going around different websites and reading some Wincest with rape in them, and I read some that bothered me. I hate it when (as an example) Dean talks about when he was raped, but he says "fucked" instead of "raped", and it bothers me, I don't know. I guess it's partly because it's not realistic because I don't think a rape victim would use that kind of language, and partly because I feel like it's almost disrespectful because saying "fuck" makes it sound so light and almost humorous. 
> 
> I also think I was inspired to write this because I feel like that's something that would happen in Hell, a place where they use every kind of torture possible. I don't remember if I read this or if someone told me this, but I remember hearing that they already had Sam dealing with a guilty, freaked out Dean, and he didn't need to deal with a sexually abused Dean as well. I think that's kind of bullshit, but TV would never do something like that with a TV show like Supernatural and a character like Dean. Writing this little rant also made me sad that there's not more gay characters in relationships on TV. The only one I can think of that has a gay couple is Modern Family, and I remember reading an article about that made a big fucking deal about the gay couple. I read a thing about this other show called Criminal Minds, where the creator of the show said he'd wanted to make Spencer Reid (the hot nerd), a bisexual character, but then they said he couldn't be bi because he got a crush on one of his female coworkers, and I was like, "what the fuck?" I mean, why the fuck can't Castiel have sex with Dean? I get why Wincest can't be canon because it's incest but why can't Cas and Dean be in a relationship?
> 
> I'm really sorry. I just needed to get this off my chest.


End file.
